Thoughts of a Wolf
by angelslaugh
Summary: Re-done. AU-ish, but mostly canon, as well as canon ending.


She's nineteen years old when she meets the most fantastic man in the universe.

She's only nineteen when she falls in love; this time, with a man with a Northern accent and who's an alien, of all people.

(She knows he doesn't _mean _to be rude.)

Rose Tyler isn't the type of girl to move on easily, nor is she one to forget.

Then… Satellite Five.

(Even though it's been such a long time since, it still makes her shiver.)

She's kidnapped, forced into a game show of which she had no idea what to do, then had to watch as the others were disintegrated.

(Then it was her turn.)

The Daleks, the _Daleks_ – the creatures whom her Doctor feared and hated. Creatures that made him colder than ice and yet hotter than flame.

Rose is sent _away._

She _begs _for the TARDIS to take her back, no matter what that Time Lord who was all ears said. No matter if it was for _her _safety.

(She wants the Doctor back.)

She thinks the sentient TARDIS can understand, for there's a grinding sound Rose can only imagine is akin to someone gripping their hair and grunting out their frustrations.

Then, the latch opens.

There's hesitance in the movement. It's almost too bright to look into.

She does, with some trepidation; but she can't let that fear stop her.

(she can't live her life out, pretending she's just a random shop girl eating beans-and-toast; if she doesn't do this she's never going to eat fish-and-chips because that was _their _thing, not only _her _thing)

The brilliance that is the heart of the TARDIS streams into her. Rose _burns_

_Burns_

_ALL OF TIME AND SPACE_

(there's a moment in there where she's not sure if she's Rose or THE MOMENT; THE MOMENT passes by too quick before she realizes or remembers)

_BAD WOLF_

She can see it now, what she does – a paradox leading to this moment in Time

ShE iS _burning!_

Rose asks the TARDIS to take her back.

She steps out onto that platform with her head held high and words on her tongue, this reality and time and the entire universe all clutched in her grasp

(in the cosmos, a golden wolf blinks into existence with the other cosmic entities. It's just a flicker; it's not permanent but for a moment this reality is hers to command – _hers and hers alone!_)

She erases the Daleks, brings life into Jack; then there's suddenly no need for her.

Still, the Bad Wolf _SEES. _

(The golden wolf is inside Rose. There's no ripping the Wolf from her.

_I am the big, Bad Wolf.)_

One day –

~:~

When Rose wakes up from seeing the gold, from _being _the gold and the melody that's so-familiar and yet _not, _she sees her Doctor talking to her, telling her about a nifty trick 'all Time Lords possess'.

She doesn't want him to leave her, but he's gone.

Big Ears-leather jacket-Northern accent is replaced by English-tall-skinny-bloke-with-floppy-hair.

(It's not so _fantastic _right then, as her heart starts to beat frenetically, and she knows her Doctor is gone-gone-_gone-GONE._ She doesn't know right then inside the TARDIS she's more susceptible to the TARDIS, given she's taken the Heart of the beauty with her. She's feeling mournful, too.)

It goes downhill from there for a good while.

After all is said and done, while people play in the false snow created by the Sycorax's ship's explosion, Rose holds hands with the Doctor.

He doesn't know who he is; that's… Okay.

(Rose doesn't quite know who _she _is, either.)

~:~

She knows she's the Bad Wolf, yes; she doesn't know _how _she knows but the creature in the boy is suffering.

(There's a moment that isn't quite there when the werewolf freezes upon seeing her. She doesn't say a word, because she doesn't know _why _the creature stills. Either way, she takes advantage of that moment to _run.)_

She meets Sarah Jane.

Another woman who fell in love, head-over-heels, with the Doctor, and yet was never mentioned.

(She knows, with absolute dread, she's going to end up leaving him.)

She shoves it away in the back of her mind.

Then there's Krop Tor.

(She realizes, when faced with a bad decision that could end up costing everyone's life aboard the shuttle, this is a decision he's had to make hundreds of times. And he's done it – he's made that decision and he's _lived, _and it's probably made him feel all the worse for it.)

She makes the darkest decision of her life.

_You're going to die,_ the thing bellows out of Toby's mouth.

_Not today, _Rose vows quietly to herself.

(if she cries when she realizes the Doctor is safe – as safe as the Doctor _could _be – well, nobody aboard the shuttle said a word. They were all too relieved.)

~:~

She doesn't belong in this new dimension. There's something inherently _wrong _about it. Still, she accepts (with a degree of _denial_) that she's stuck in it.

She lies to the Doctor, saying it's her mum that's pregnant, because his face –

She knew she was stuck. Tearing down the wall would rip her apart and destroy the universes and do loads of things that she didn't think was good.

When the stars were going out, she only knew he could fix it.

She went to him, crossing universes just like the Cybermen did; her and Mickey could go through because they already had Void stuff on them; they fix the problem in a night (or in a day, but time doesn't really matter, does it?).

She's left in that universe, the one she doesn't belong in, with a half-human Time Lord and a baby TARDIS.

(Maybe everything will be all right.)


End file.
